I have to re-write this post which frustrates me.I lost it. The whole point was about some woman from the midwest with over-processed hair, with over smugness. Who kept grabbing my body during business stuff. I asked her twice, I asked her keatin hair, her fake boobs, her collagen lips, her botox face twice. She acted like she couldn’t hear me.
When my moment came finally to show what I had been working on, she interrupted me, she said, “Oh even these arms are so cute, look at these tiny little arms!” and she grabbed my arm. I looked out at the conference room, I saw cabinet file boss looking like this is normal behavior, I saw the friend that I fucked the other night,who also comes from money looking like this is kind of entertaining. I saw the Jewish CPA looking confused and hungover. I saw the Chinese business man leaning forward.
I am on stage with midwestern cunt. I did not know how to react. I got her off my arm,what a creeper. Women can be the worst. She pretends to compliment me while undermining everything I have given my heart into. I look back into the room of men. I have a marriage in the shits, these guys, I don’t know what they know. I forgive myself a bit.Why would I not fall into their arms when women can be so demeaning.
I go back to work, the very cool woman who I work closely with,who by the way is blonde, thin , and has tits. Sometimes they seem like the only nice people to me. I can tell she is picking up on my distress. “Is there anything I can do?” she asks,her eyes look teary. I don’t think so, I say, “Let’s just work” so we do.
I wasn’t interested, I wasn’t uninterested. His bigness made me curious. Tall, which I know me, doesn’t mean much, but taller than most,broader. I wondered how he would feel. I am under file-cabinet’s boss control completely, I don’t even know if he is interested in me, really. I had a dream that he held me down and spit in my face. I woke up upset. Total submission. Still he is not around a lot.
So yeah, his friend bought me dinner, we went for a walk, a drink.
Then we were back at his place. I acted so docile. I don’t know why I do that. I sucked his dick, but he was anxious, so he laid me back on his bed. It didn’t hurt very much, His body-weight didn’t hurt, I sank into his mattress. I made him promise not to tell anyone. How can I tell? I think men tell. Will I get fired?
All I could think later is at least I was wearing my favorite bra.